I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
