I think i sorta joined a cult last night
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
