Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
