I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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