it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
