So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
