I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
