His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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