For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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