she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
