pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
