wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I looked at my own cervix.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
