We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
