I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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