U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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