How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Randomize