I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
my sisters under your porch take her home
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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