??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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