Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
