ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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