This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
