she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
