next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I supernannyed him into submission
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
