i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
