I've blown a few things in my day
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
