I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
