Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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