Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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