So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize