i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
