I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
