you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize