i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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