dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
