Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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