He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
