So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
