im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
