Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
