Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
