We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
