wat bout pragnant strippers??
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
