Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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