His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
