this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
you made out with another girl for some wings
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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