Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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