the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
