Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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