People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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