if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
if you like me you must not know who I am
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize