she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
