Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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