She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
