i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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