I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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