too bad you live with your parents still
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
