If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize