Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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