Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Dear god my vagina.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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