last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Randomize
