Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
