So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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