Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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