it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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