I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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