i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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