I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
