I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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