he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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